How much do you need in common for a marriage to work?
We have love, affection, compatible senses of humour, sexual chemistry and compatibility, common manners and a sense of decency, commitment and kindness.
We both love art and lovely things, like food, friendships and film.
But we have completely different central passions. Mine is academia. His is music. This brings with it a whole host of problems, like conflicting timetables, bad communication patterns (which is an effect of having a highly analytical, passionate talker like me, with a naturally introverted, dry logic, “systems” person) and different social groups.
I am getting to the point where decisions have to be made (it’s been nearly 4 years, and I am not getting any younger) and I am not sure whether marriage is viable. My married sister says that all marriages have periods of physical and/or emotional remoteness, while I am nervous to start a marriage without a common language and some more obvious overlaps. My boyfriend, meanwhile, thinks this is unhealthy (to be with someone too similar).
Any advice? Thank you.
I am not married, by the way, but trying to decide whether to.
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June 26th, 2009 at 6:03 am
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agree with his idea
June 29th, 2009 at 2:46 pm
Kansieo.com
That depends on how big the commitment is.
Are you both committed to making a marriage work?
Are you both committed to working on you weaknesses so that your relationship can strengthen over time? (ie how you communicate)
Do you share a common vision of the future and are you both committed to getting there together?
July 1st, 2009 at 9:26 am
Kansieo.com
My husband and I had absolutely nothing in common when we met, they relationship was based entirely on ***. We fought like cat and dog for about 18 month after we got married, but over the last 15 years we have grown together, and we now share many of the same passions. I guess we needed something to talk about when the hormones wore off!
July 3rd, 2009 at 11:57 am
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I agree with him..However, my husband and I both are musicians so we connect that way and always will. We are introverted around other people and extroverted at home. That’s just us. I think you should embrace your own unique style of being a couple rather than focus on what you think appears ‘compatible’. Every couple has their own bubble.
July 6th, 2009 at 2:47 am
Create a video blog
as i dont know you .. i think you need a new out look on life ..as you said you have no strings .. so lets see you fly.. the world is yours .. now go for it and enjoy your life..
July 8th, 2009 at 8:34 pm
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“We have love, affection, compatible senses of humour, sexual chemistry and compatibility, common manners and a sense of decency, commitment and kindness” – It seems that if you have all you enumerate here, you will have the answer at your question! In life you can’t have all of them in onces. You have to understand that you can’t change somebody to like what you like. In a relation both parteners must understand that we are different, like humans, and we can’t be forced to like soup if we like to eat McDonald.
If I will have what you told : ” We have love, affection, compatible senses of humour, sexual chemistry and compatibility, common manners and a sense of decency, commitment and kindness” , I will not ask more!