is it more important to find love, or compatibility?

baron d asked:

I recently broke up with a woman I really felt love for, and I know she felt the same for me.

All my life I have looked for “the one” that I would marry, and have my children with. I pictured having the important firsts together that families have, the excitement of a new baby, the milestones of sharing the first steps and words of the child.Being able to see a new world together, and making it our world.

I met a very nice girl, and we were perfect…except she had two children from a loser she met before me.I did not intend for the relationship to grow, but it did. I felt that the two of us had been cheated, because if we had met at a different time…we would have been the kind of couple that would make other couples sick, because it would have been perfect.

My inability to look past this ultimately destroyed the relationship…but i feel I deserve better than to “settle”. Do I have too many wants out of life? Are my dreams reasonable? Any advice is appreciated.

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2 Responses to 'is it more important to find love, or compatibility?'

sheryl s - January 28th, 2008 at 12:33 pm
I don’t think that you truly loved her. Or you could not have let this happen. When it’s true love you’ll do anything and everything for that person. I suggest to keep looking until you find that person. I hope that she doesn’t hold anything against you,(like maybe the # of women you’ve been with) and then walks away. Just remember that we dream big and then there’s reality. I dreamed of a tall dark handsome man. For years that’s what I wanted but never really found. Now I am with the love of my life he’s dark and handsome but he is not tall. I almost didn’t even give him a chance. I wonder if I would have found him sooner if I would have not been living in my fantasies.
Mim - January 30th, 2008 at 12:33 am
I believe love and compatibility are important. While you have a great goal to find someone to share love and childbearing and rearing together don’t totally discount nice girls who already have children. It takes an amazing guy to be a parent to other man’s children though. I wish you well finding that special girl. All the best.