im only 18, and i’ll be having my first child in March, and my boyfriend wants to get married before we have Luke saying “if we wait until after we have him we wont have the money to get married”
he wants to get married in a church (and i wasnt brought up with religion, it was basically theres a god, no church or anything like that) while id be happy just getting married in city hall, but nobody in his family would reconize the marriage
second, im not ready to get married, its not cold feet, im just not ready, weve only been dating 6 months!!! sadly im not ready for a baby either, but im acepting it
next, i live far away from home, 2500 miles to be almost exact, and all i want to do is go home, but he doesnt want to leave the beach, so im stuck here, because i dont want to deprive him of his child
what do i do??? im so confussed and im sure the stress isnt helping the baby…but i always feel like crying and im scared
like i said, ive stated im not ready…
but would it be wrong to just leave??? i really dont think i can do that….all i want is my mom!!! i cant stand any of this non sense. its like a fight with myself
i dont have the money to get back to montana, otherwise thats where i would be…i wanted to go home for christmas but a train ticket cost $700 i cant afford that
BTW
he knows he’s the dad, there is absoluty no doubt about that, he took my virginity
one more thing:::
i origialally moved to south carolina to live with my stepdad and get away from drama back home, and i was about to go back home, and i met him, and we really hit it off (obviously) dont get me wrong i love him to death, but being a northern girl and him southern, im just confussed, yes i live with him now, and have been for 3 months, and its alright, but im just stressed out about alot…
i dont know what im missing
Caffeinated Content for WordPress
Best Deal Ads :
28 Responses to 'marriage????????????????????????????????????????'
Leave a Reply
- July 2010 (10)
- June 2010 (13)
- May 2010 (25)
- April 2010 (1)
- October 2009 (5)
- September 2009 (16)
- August 2009 (32)
- July 2009 (48)
- June 2009 (86)
- May 2009 (37)
- April 2009 (27)
- March 2009 (24)
- February 2009 (5)
- January 2009 (7)
- December 2008 (11)
- November 2008 (15)
- October 2008 (24)
- September 2008 (30)
- August 2008 (85)
- July 2008 (101)
- June 2008 (92)
- May 2008 (131)
- April 2008 (152)
- March 2008 (115)
- February 2008 (95)
- January 2008 (120)
If you aren’t ready for marriage you aren’t ready.
Are there any free conselling services available for pregnant women near you. You need a good person to talk to and your family is very far away. Also join some mommy groups for support.
everything happens for a reason. you will see only you can answer this question. I wish you luck
It will be okay just belive in yourself..
maybe you might become a millionaire!!!!!!!
who knows……
If you aren’t ready then do not do it. I was in the same situation. I am now divorced because neither my ex or myself was ready. We thought it was the right thing to do. The best thing you could do for yourself is go home to your family. You need the support. If he truly loves you, he will wait until you are ready. Also, it doesn’t matter if his family accepts a city hall marriage. It only matters that you both live your lives according to your own beliefs and your baby.
If you aren’t ready to get married- then don’t. A wedding is a lot of stress, have the baby and work on your relationship- a wedding can come later.
Feel free to cry… it is o.k. and first babies add to that… hormone changes and such… in the mean time…. if you are not ready, then you are not ready…. you are now responsible for two…., if you want to move then i suggest you do it before the birth, cause after that he has rights too…. if you say you do not know the father, then they cannot get him for child support… is that what you want? or are you willing to work with him and make it happen?…. good luck….
well you need to decide if you honestly love the babies daddy or not. and he is right it is better to get married before the baby comes because if you wait then the child will always have 2nd guess to if his dad is his real dad. and if you decide you don’t want to marry him then go home. he’s not your boss and he can always see your guys baby.
well im no one to tell you that you should get married but i will tell you this if you guys live together and gonna have a baby and you are no were near home………. obviously you made the first mistake by moving so far away from home and moving with him. you are too young. but if you are not ready dont do it. the time will come….. even tho i never been through that situation i can see and feel that you are being pressured maybe you should try to convince him to move back.
don’t let him push you into anything, if you don’t want to don’t, like you said you are only 18. FYI the only thing i wanted when i had my daughter was my mum, if you think you will be happier and more comfortable there do it. the more support the better
Hi
The only part of your message that I totally agree with is where you said that this whole situation is causing stress to you and most importantly to your baby.
There are thousands of young moms in this world – if they survived, you should be all right as well.
You dont sound like you love the guy you are with. You dont have to stick to him just because he is the father of your child. Mind you, kids feel what is going on between their parents better than anybody else. You would not want your child to grow up knowing that mommy and daddy dont love each other.
Now, you also said that you dont like the place where you live.
So, please ask yourself :
What is keeping me here?
your emotions run wild when u r pregnant dont make any big decisions just wait to get married it doesnt matter these days. just have a long engagment tell him and his family you dont want to get married pregnant you want to lose the baby weight and have fun at your own wedding that might keep them off your back for a while and if you still dont want to get married after the baby just go home he will follow you if he wants to be near you and make sure that you have a good family support network.
I feel for you – this is a hard situation.
However, it does not seem that you have a good basis for a marriage – one person pressuring the other into it is not a good start! Marriage is (supposed to be) for life, so you want to be sure that you really want to get married before you do.
He sounds selfish and it is all about him – when it should be all about you and the baby!
Perhaps you just need to maintain a good friendship with your boyfriend, move home and go forward as parents of the same child, but not as husband and wife.
Don’t stress out..Marriage is a big thing and it seems that you are not ready for it at all,so don’t go for it,and tell the truth to your boyfriend,i personally know smbody who is one of my best friends who had a bobay at 18 also and though there were pressure exerted for her to get married she kept a fresh mind and had the baby and lived where the father of the baby lived and let time deal with their relationship,and they finally get to know each other well and got engaged and married.
Talk to people to friends about it,ask your relatives to come and see you if they can,trust me keep your mind fresh.Is he forcing you to get married?? Are you at school or working?? Dnt stress there isnt a solution out there..what I mean the solution is already here..Keep calm.
Don´t do anything you don´t want to. I think you shouldn´t make yet another mistake. if you don´t want to get married, don´t do it, if everybody insist, then do it in your terms, marry wherever you want. Talk to him, talk to your parents, tell them how you feel. And most of it, try to make your baby feel welcome, it may seem hard but who knows, maybe this baby will make you very very happy in the future. I know you will be alright.
I realized you are having a baby, but if you don’t want to get married then don’t do it. And if he was brought up so religiously then he wouldn’t have been having sex before he got married. So tell his family to take a long walk off a short cliff.
If you want to go home then go if this guy is that commited to you he won’t have any problem going with you.
If you aren’t happy you aren’t going to be able to make anyone else happy.
Take a deep breath and think about what is best for you and do it.
If you aren’t ready for marriage – don’t! Just tell your bf that you would like to concentrate on one thing at a time… being baby at the moment.
Second – can you possibly go home for a visit? I don’t know if you are anything like me but i am 19wks with my first baby and i have turned into a “Mummy’s girl” (which is odd – i’ve never been like that! LOL) but i just love to go home any chance i get too!!
Don’t forget – many of your feelings and your confusion etc may be due to the pregnancy hormones – they can make you feel irrational and irritable and moody etc.
Do you have someone you can talk to? Friend? Even a counsellor or something – just to be able to talk about your feelings and get it out of your system!
Best of luck!
my baby girl is due in March aswell…congrats…as for the marriage deal..do what you feel is right for you…we cant really give you advice or even our opinions because it seems that you already have your mind made up…the answer is right in front of you…so chose what you feel is right to choose..good luck
don’t get married before you are ready it is better you are ready to commit in the biggest way possible. wait after the baby is born,like a year,year and a half. save your money with him and have a nice wedding. it doesn’t have to be expensive.
You shouldn’t get married if you are not ready too. Baby or no baby. Marriage is a big step…trust me I know because I am engaged and that seems to be what everyone keeps telling me. But if you are not ready for marriage then don’t do it because it will cause more stress in the relationship in the long run.
As far as his family recognizing your marriage vows, that is on them because the marriage vows are not for everyone else to accept but for you two except.
If you would feel more comfortable going through your pregnancy closer to your family, then I think that he should understand that. First off, you shouldn’t ever feel like you are stuck just because of someone else. I mean you don’t have to move back home, you should be able to compromise that you want to be close to your family when you have this child. You are not depriving his rights by wanting to be close to your family.
So don’t stress out about anything because everything will work out just fine. Just pray about everything and calm down because you can do anything you set your mind too.
I wish you will and if you every need someone to talk to email me at
Go home, you need the support of your family right now. I’m sure if you call them they will wire you money or buy you a ticket. Oh by the way, Greyhound is extremely cheap and I’m sure you could go that way.
Tell him the truth. Tell him your not ready to be married, and you want to go home, and see your family
This is a tough situation. As you know, no one can make the decision for you, but we can give opinions
If you aren’t ready for marriage, don’t be forced into it. You two can save up if necessary after the baby is born incase you change your mind. If he is a good role model and father for your baby, you don’t want to deprive the child from him. If he was an asshole, it’d be different. Maybe, go back home while you are pregnant and see if there is where you want to be. Most time, it’s just home sickness and it’ll pass. If ya’ll love each other, you’ll work it out 
Good luck!
If you are not ready to get married then dont’ simple answer. If you choose to then get married outside where it isnt a churchor cityhall. and about moving I think you should stay in order to build the relationship with the father of your baby, you should be lucky that after only 6th months of dateing he is not running away and leaving his child so dont do the same to him.
I know I am just an add on to your answers, but I just wanted to tell you that I got pregant at 18, and I also go married before my son was born, I didn’t know if I wanted to go threw with it, but I did, My husband and I met while I was at job corps, he is from the city and I am from the country, he moved to the country with me, we have been together for 3 years and married for 2, I love him to death. I just wanted to say what ever decsion you make with going home, you should talk to him, I mean it couldn’t heart,. I hope everything works out for you.
I would do whatever you feel is right. You should tell your boyfriend exactly how you feel and tell him that you want to wait to get married. Tell him if you guys feel the same way about each other when you are ready to get married, then it will happen. If he loves you, he will understand. It’s not like you are trying to push him out of the baby’s life. During pregnancy, you can be more emotional than normal and will need his support or your family’s support. I hope that everything works out.
And marriage is a big step itself, especially on top of being pregnant. It’s just too much change at one time and you don’t want to stress yourself out.
Sweetie, go home. DON’T marry this guy if you’re not ready. If he’s truely a good guy, he’ll be okay with you going home. You really need family, friends, lots of support right now. Take care, okay? And feel free to email me, I’ve been pregnant and states away from my family…it’s tough.
I got married a few months after finding out I was pregnant. Although the hubby and I wanted to get married anyway. We were both ready and our parents were more than willing to put on a wedding for us. We got the wedding together in 2 weeks and a week later he left for bootcamp for the Army.
Everyone’s situation isn’t like that though. If you aren’t ready don’t get married. You should be ready. Not everyone who is having a baby should be married. Some aren’t ready and never will be. The moving situation is a tuff one. I believe that a woman going through pregnancy needs their own mom for moral support. My mom has been there every step of the way. I think if you and your mom are close you should be together through this whole situation. I think you should be with your family. But that is just me. Maybe you could talk your b/f into moving? I know he doesn’t want to but you have to think of what is best for you and the baby. It isn’t crying and being sad. Good luck and I wish you well.
Hello webmaster