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Sexual compatibility?

love compatibility
Mario asked:


I know people say sexual compatibility is important, which is why many people do not abstain from sex till marriage, but is it not true that your first time is not going to be that great anyway? But with practice and communication, that is when it gets better and then you would become more compatible? Which would you rather have? Sexual compatibility with someone you do not even like? Or sexual compatibility with someone you love, who may not be sexually compatible, yet, but over plenty of communication, practice and time?

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24 Responses to 'Sexual compatibility?'

  1. achrimsdale - February 15th, 2008 at 3:07 am

    you make it sound very complicated

    as long as I get a regular shag I’m not really bothered.

    .

  2. M S - February 16th, 2008 at 3:41 pm

    Sex gets better with time, love, patience, and communication.

  3. kyryliw - February 19th, 2008 at 5:46 pm

    my exgirlfriend and i had great sexual compatibility. I lost my virginity to her and the first time wasn’t worse than anyother time, it was pretty good, i loved her when i lost my virginity and we talked a lot about everything before we did it, that communication lead to great communication in bed

  4. BabeHeart - February 20th, 2008 at 10:20 pm

    Sometimes people are never sexually compatible…sometimes they are from the get-go. One needn’t wait until marriage to find out if they enjoy sex together, nor does having sex outside of marraige negate there being any romantic emotions for each other.

    Sex is also fine w/o emotion, for those open to that…it’s fun for a reason (like any other recreational activity). Love needn’t be involved for it to rock your sox off. ?

  5. raerae - February 21st, 2008 at 10:56 pm

    sexual compatibility with someone I love because if we can communicate effectively than the sex can get better over time. I wouldn’t marry someone just for the sex that would be stupid because that gets old after awhile

  6. tincoatr - February 23rd, 2008 at 4:32 pm

    If both people were virgins when they got married, they would be sexually compatible with each other because they wouldn’t have any other experience to compare with.

  7. ice_aka_ice - February 24th, 2008 at 7:12 pm

    Translation:

    Will the girls still like me even though I have a small pecker and can’t satisfy them.

  8. Mr Magoo - February 26th, 2008 at 2:54 pm

    you and the princess having trouble?

  9. jennyann 4 - February 27th, 2008 at 4:07 am

    wHAT YOU ARE today yOU WILL NOT BE TOMORROW tAKE HEALTH . CHANGES. That is so not right and I hear it all the time, You and your body and thoughts are forever changeing.

  10. 4girls&done - February 28th, 2008 at 5:43 am

    First of all, I am not about to have sex with someone whom I don’t like or find attractive. Regarding sexual compatability, it is a learning experience. You need to speak up and tell your partner what you like and don’t like. I havve been married for 17+ yrs and our sex life is very good. We do things now that I would not of thought about doing years ago and that is because we are comfortable with eachother and talk about it.

  11. rozerodriguez - March 1st, 2008 at 11:28 pm

    Sexual compatibility with someone u have deep feelings for. Sex with someone u dont like despite how good the sex is will never be satisfying when there is no emotion involved.

  12. Emerald - March 5th, 2008 at 4:19 am

    Seems you’re letting something else do the thinking and not your heart.

    When you find yourself really attracted to someone, and fall in love, everything else follows. Some of us have to first feel something in our heart before we give 100% of ourselves in every way.

    Good luck.

  13. demonmish - March 8th, 2008 at 7:22 am

    first time is never that good, however you are right with open communication sex will always improve. but sometimes it’s just really good from the start

  14. Dakota R - March 9th, 2008 at 1:26 am

    This has been a blurry line for me. I’ve discussed this with many people before, and it’s a debateable topic.

    I mean, everyone says if you wait, it is much better, and that night is a magical, awesome experience. But when you ask someone about how it goes the first time, they say it’s awkward, uncomfortable, and lasts about five minutes.

    Wouldn’t you want to at least gain some sort of knowledge about how to go about having sex with someone before you do with that special one? It’d make the experience much better.

    Waiting just seems like some sort of gimmick, but it’s under my faith so I’ll try my best to stay with it.

  15. smashcruiserarc - March 10th, 2008 at 5:01 pm

    There is more to sexual compatibility than you think.

    It’s not just a matter of it being a skill you develop.

    Everyone has different things they like and dislike, different things that turn them off or on, and so on and so forth.

    As an example, I have somewhat of an oral fetish. I love to both give and receive, and I’m quite good at it. However, there are some women, albeit rare, who just plain do not like to give or receive oral. This would be a case of sexual incompatibility. The girl could be amazing in bed, but without the ability to satisfy my own personal fetish, it would always be a disappointment for me. Similarly, the idea of anal sex is a major turn off for me- I have no desire to even try it. If I were to date a girl who absolutely loved anal sex, it wouldn’t matter how much skill I had, I would not be able to satisfy her.

    Those are just two examples- Skill is important, but tastes and fetishes are something you can’t force; they need to be compatible.

  16. mediahoney - March 11th, 2008 at 6:41 pm

    It really doesn’t have to be an either/or argument. There is more to sexuality than the sexual act. Sexual attitudes are important. If you’d like to abstain until marriage, you need to find someone who feels the same way.

    The big problem comes in when one person believes that sex is a natural extension of emotion and the other thinks it’s dirty. Or, one person thinks it should always be about romance and another thinks the it can sometimes be just a round of bump ‘n’ tickle.

    You need to understand your sexual values before you begin to find a sexual compatible mate.

  17. hog rock - March 13th, 2008 at 10:41 pm

    It is not quite that simple my friend, it has more to do with desire and sexual needs and the ability to project your feelings in sex. Now listen, some like it every day, some everyother day, some once a week , some once a month, some maybe five times a year. Which can you live with? Also, some people are not emotionally satisfying in sex. Usually really pretty women are poor lover because they have not developed the means of showing inward feelings in sex to be good, they think that lookls makes the difference, but it does not. Are you getting the picture . I have gotten right out of bed with some real beautiful women and went some where to find another woman that knew how to satisfy me emotionally. Getting the picture ? Sorry don’t mean to sound harsh today, it is just that I have my problems too. P

  18. mardeanai - March 16th, 2008 at 12:56 pm

    To answer yourself always first think love than sex

  19. SvetlanaFunGirl - March 19th, 2008 at 8:18 am

    It seems that the people who know the least about sex seem to have some pretty strong opinions on the subject.

    First of all, the first time can be awesome. It was for me, proably because I had an experienced partner.

    Second, compatability is not something you can always learn. A Ford engine will just never really fit in a Chevy. Sometimes its mental, sometimes its physical, but a really good fit is hard to come by. There are too many variables that you cannot always anticipate (how often, how athletic, how adventurous, who leads, etc. are thing you either are or aren’t; you can’t learn it or fake it).

    Love and sex are not the same thing. You may find it morally unacceptible, but the fact is you can have amazingly great sex with someone you barely know, and incurably horrible sex with someone you love deeply.

  20. Jeff W - March 22nd, 2008 at 6:06 am

    You can always improve sexual compatibility with time, practice and communication.

    But there are somethings that may not improve.

    For example, sexual appetite. If one partners likes to have sex every day, and the other once a month, that is something that could destroy a marriage.

    There are also tastes, such as fetishes, that might prove incompatible.

    The choice you pose is easy to answer. It is better to have a relationship with someone you love even with bad or incompatible sex than with someone you do not even like.

    However, that is a false dichotomy. You can aspire to find someone you love dearly and have sexual compatibility with.

  21. magster - March 24th, 2008 at 7:21 pm

    I was going to answer this question then I spotted Achrimsdale’s answer and I cant stop laughing.

  22. magic_porridge_pot - March 27th, 2008 at 7:24 pm

    the latter defo!

  23. nerdus malerdus - March 29th, 2008 at 12:31 pm

    How could I be sexually compatible with someone I don’t like?

    No, the first time isn’t that great… but most people don’t know what they need sexually as a beginner anyways. It takes time to figure out what really does it for you, and your partner. But I believe that if you wait until your wedding night for your big first time it may turn out disappointing, sloppy, and overall unsatisfying…..which really isn’t a good way to start out in my opinion. I would rather already know what I need to do to make my man’s toes curl on our special night ( and I do!).

  24. Lyra B - March 30th, 2008 at 6:42 am

    Sorry, but having been through my fair share of sexual mishaps I refuse to believe that there is any serious sexual problem that true soulmate love could not solve. As long as you have similar views on sex I don’t think the actual mechanics can get int he way, long term.


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