What is the correct Islamic way of proposing marriage to a Muslimah?
lacactus asked:
My bossom friend just reverted to Islam, found a sister he wants to maary but has difficulty with telling her. His difficulty stems from the fact that he does not want to do it wrongly thus offend Allah. Help!
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My bossom friend just reverted to Islam, found a sister he wants to maary but has difficulty with telling her. His difficulty stems from the fact that he does not want to do it wrongly thus offend Allah. Help!
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September 3rd, 2008 at 5:46 pm
I know the feeling only on the opposite end. When I became a Muslimah I did not know anything about how to look for a husband. I would suggest that he talk to her father/guardian first. I don’t know how religous this family is but this is always the best route to go. Once he gets an ok from the family to talk to her then he can begin getting to know her.
September 7th, 2008 at 2:32 am
be honest with yourself. you converted. no such thing as reverted. and the concept is offensive.
September 9th, 2008 at 11:58 pm
ask her parents first. whe you say reverted do you mean he left islam and came back or just accepted what you told him with out reading the quran himself.
September 10th, 2008 at 7:57 pm
I think the guy is supposed to approach the girl’s father or the male members of her family and ask permission for her hand in marriage.
September 11th, 2008 at 10:43 pm
Depending on how traditional the family is…he should approach her parents first and inquire into his chances….if they are impressed they will tell her…if not your chances arent that great.
if she is a more modern muslimah then your friend could maybe get a friend of hers to approach her with his message of interest..feel the waters so to speak. good luck
September 15th, 2008 at 3:24 am
Well if the girl has parents and they honour such tradition that proposing through parents like we have in east..then its an easy way to propose to her..i.e talk to her parents through some friends or his own parents..but in west as this thing is not common..so he can talk to her directly or if he does not want himself then either through his sister or some female cousin, he can convey his message to her !and as he has sincer intensions..and so Allah does not mind such things…! rather He would appreciate his conduct and would help him …All the best to your friend !
September 15th, 2008 at 12:16 pm
Salam Alikoum, Wa Rahmatullahi, Wa Barakatuhu
He must talk with her familly and settle meetings with the girl in the presence of her familly to see if they are fit for each others.
For the others: The syntagm “reverted” is basically the same with “converted”. It is believed that all people were first born as Muslims,as worshipers of Allah, but their religion was changed. That is why, when they accept Islam they called themselves reverted. It is “reverted” metaphorically speaking.
September 16th, 2008 at 9:05 pm
That person with the inital RW is not me. There is a such thing as revert. Revert is coming back to to your religion. Convert is entering a new religion without every being in it. But to the question. It’s best to talk to her Wali (father, protector, guardian).
September 19th, 2008 at 7:40 pm
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Just after a few dates. Maybe after 1 month of dating/talking. He can come up with a romantic way of asking her. It would be appropriate to talk to her family.
Then they have an engagement party with all their friends & family. That’s when he puts the ring on her right ring finger to show that they are now engaged. Then they can get married anywhere they want (with your witnesses) by an Imam or they can get married in the Mosque He CANNOT forget her dowry.
Then sometime soon after that, within a few weeks because it takes time to get the house or apartment. Traditionally, its her family (dad or brothers or sole provider(s) in her family) that is responsible on getting the furniture & dishes.
Then there is a party called “The wedding party” Thats the party of celebrating for the both of you with your life together before you offically live together in the same home. That one is the most important because soon after this party is over, the both of them go to their new home and consummate their marraige, especially when she’s a virgin. If she is, she will go thru some pain, but that’s understandable. The tradition is to consummate the marriage and Inshaa ALLAH (by Will of GOD) have kids.
Im in Egypt and this happends every day. As a matter of fact, my husband is the sole provider in his family and he has to do this for his sister.
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Assalamu Alaykuum
September 20th, 2008 at 3:09 pm
the islamic way to ask a woman for marriage is:
1) if it is the first marriage of the girl,you should ask her father,and he(father) should ask her consent.
2)if she is divorced or widow,you ask her directly